Restoring Your Relationship

Relationship advice is a tricky thing. When it’s unsolicited, it can be annoying and sometimes even insulting (hey, we all have that friend). But when you actually seek it out, it can be hard to find what you’re really looking for—like a definitive answer on whether or not yours is healthy, and what’s truly important.

Sure, there’s your go-to advice like “don’t go to bed angry,” and “respect is important,” but we’ve all heard those before. That’s why we consulted expert therapists for the best tips they most regularly share with their patients.

Schedule dates to talk about your relationship.

“Commit to investing an hour—on an ongoing basis—to work on strengthening your relationship, troubleshooting, and making it more satisfying,” says Manhattan-based licensed clinical psychologist Joseph Cilona, Psy.D. Set up a weekly or monthly dinner where you only talk about relationship issues or goals.

Sure, it might sound drab, but getting …

You visit your gyno for your annual exam, eat healthy to avoid disease, and exercise to keep your body strong, but what do you do to nurture your relationship on a regular basis? Just a guess: not a whole lot. That’s a huge shame, because good relationship advice—particularly when it comes from pros schooled in the field of psychology—can take any solid-gold love to diamond-level strong.

“Most of us operate in crisis mode for our relationship, only giving it sincere attention when there’s a problem that needs fixing,” says Seth J. Gillihan, PhD, a clinical psychologist practicing near Philadelphia. “But a relationship is like a garden: Even when it’s doing well, weeds can grow and overtake it.”

“A relationship is like a garden: Even when it’s doing well, weeds can grow and overtake it.”

Which is why the uptick in “happy couples counseling”—seeing an expert long before the thought of …

I have met so many people in my sex therapy practice who long for ‘perfect’, passionate sex — like the kind in the movies, where no one’s hair gets messy and everyone has ecstatic orgasms.

But, that isn’t realistic. That’s Hollywood.

In real life, sex can be confusing, disheveled, and even disappointing. People may feel scared to have sex with their significant others, frustrated about not doing it regularly, or too anxious about whether they’re doing it right.

Often, by the time they visit my office, my clients are also feeling a bit angry. Which is completely normal. Having frustrations is common when expectations aren’t met, and, after having too many fights or avoiding the subject altogether, most people have forgotten how to communicate and hope professional advice can help.

Here are 10 of the most common tips I find myself giving clients to help achieve and live out those …

If you want to make the most of your sex life, these sex tips are a good way to start.

Talking and listening to each other about your feelings, preferences and desires can bring you closer together and make sex more enjoyable.

But even the most contented lovers can have fun trying new things. Here are a few ideas.

1. Build anticipation

Agree on a period of time – say one week, or whatever works for you – when you won’t have orgasms or penetrative sex. At first, allow only kissing and holding each other. Gradually move on to touching and stroking each other, masturbation, oral sex, or whatever feels right for you. Avoid orgasm.

At the end of the agreed waiting period, allow yourselves the pleasure of orgasm through any kind of sex you like. This week may help heighten your senses to all the other wonderful feelings you …